1 00:00:00,234 --> 00:00:02,817 [MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC] 2 00:00:04,081 --> 00:00:07,232 The name of the game is "Mafia." 3 00:00:07,296 --> 00:00:09,431 ? ? 4 00:00:09,456 --> 00:00:11,609 - [CLEARS THROAT] - Do you know how this works? 5 00:00:11,634 --> 00:00:13,385 Was there a syllabus I was supposed to read? 6 00:00:13,410 --> 00:00:14,827 - [CHUCKLES] - What's that, Don? 7 00:00:14,852 --> 00:00:16,474 He just needs you to explain the rules. 8 00:00:16,499 --> 00:00:17,570 Don Ridley, you have been going 9 00:00:17,595 --> 00:00:19,797 to Tina Brown's game night for years. 10 00:00:19,822 --> 00:00:21,133 Are you telling me you never played Mafia? 11 00:00:21,158 --> 00:00:22,548 Do you still work for "Vanity Fair"? 12 00:00:22,573 --> 00:00:25,000 Uh, sometimes "VF," sometimes "GQ." 13 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,215 Oh, everyone wants a piece of Don Ridley. 14 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:29,498 Okay, quick rules refresher. 15 00:00:29,523 --> 00:00:32,010 You have all chosen either "T" for "townsperson," 16 00:00:32,035 --> 00:00:33,744 or "M" for "murderer." 17 00:00:33,769 --> 00:00:35,909 Each round, the murderer will kill someone, 18 00:00:35,934 --> 00:00:39,444 and the townspeople must root out who he or she is. 19 00:00:39,469 --> 00:00:41,315 Now, heads down. Eyes closed. 20 00:00:41,340 --> 00:00:43,128 [MYSTERIOUS MUSIC] 21 00:00:43,153 --> 00:00:47,129 Murderer awaken. Choose your prey. 22 00:00:47,591 --> 00:00:51,815 ? ? 23 00:00:52,027 --> 00:00:53,528 Thank you, murderer, head down. 24 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:54,898 Townspeople, you may wake up. 25 00:00:54,923 --> 00:00:57,779 While you were sleeping, Zane was brutally murdered. 26 00:00:57,804 --> 00:01:00,516 - Oh. - [LAUGHS] 27 00:01:01,059 --> 00:01:03,269 [CHUCKLING] 28 00:01:03,294 --> 00:01:05,331 Now figure out who did it. 29 00:01:06,374 --> 00:01:09,030 - I think that it was Liza. - I think Kelsey's drunk. 30 00:01:09,055 --> 00:01:11,409 Yeah, how do we know it wasn't you, Peters? 31 00:01:11,434 --> 00:01:13,285 Can you please go get me another glass of wine? 32 00:01:13,310 --> 00:01:15,631 - Liza already killed you. - I didn't. 33 00:01:15,656 --> 00:01:17,001 And no one's seconded. 34 00:01:17,026 --> 00:01:18,472 Liza's lying. 35 00:01:19,282 --> 00:01:20,824 I can tell. 36 00:01:20,849 --> 00:01:22,328 Really? 37 00:01:22,464 --> 00:01:26,194 Well, it is a game. Isn't it? 38 00:01:26,219 --> 00:01:29,482 I mean, it could be anybody. It could be you. 39 00:01:29,882 --> 00:01:32,682 Oh, so I accuse you, then you accuse me. 40 00:01:32,707 --> 00:01:35,027 That is textbook guilty behavior. 41 00:01:35,052 --> 00:01:38,031 Kelsey accused me first. And I did not accuse her. 42 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:39,150 And why is that? 43 00:01:39,175 --> 00:01:40,974 The killer would stay off the radar. 44 00:01:41,221 --> 00:01:43,719 Let someone else accuse, and then pounce. 45 00:01:43,947 --> 00:01:45,289 Like you did. 46 00:01:45,314 --> 00:01:46,997 You sound paranoid. 47 00:01:47,467 --> 00:01:50,059 - And guilty. - [CHUCKLES] 48 00:01:50,084 --> 00:01:51,405 Other townspeople can weigh in. 49 00:01:51,430 --> 00:01:52,467 But let's assume you're right. 50 00:01:52,492 --> 00:01:54,447 If Kelsey is the killer, 51 00:01:54,472 --> 00:01:56,271 wouldn't she have thought of that? 52 00:01:56,296 --> 00:01:57,562 No, she's right. 53 00:01:57,587 --> 00:02:00,285 I'm... kind of drunk. 54 00:02:00,413 --> 00:02:02,872 Uh, plus, we all heard your cufflink clink your glass 55 00:02:02,897 --> 00:02:04,356 when you pointed at Zane. 56 00:02:04,381 --> 00:02:06,828 Is that what that was? I heard it. 57 00:02:06,853 --> 00:02:10,109 Uh, is anyone else even wearing cufflinks? 58 00:02:10,134 --> 00:02:12,119 There was no sound. 59 00:02:12,144 --> 00:02:14,763 - This is... - Ah, he's turning red. 60 00:02:14,788 --> 00:02:16,395 Seconded. 61 00:02:16,420 --> 00:02:18,892 [PATS LEG THRICE] He's so guilty! 62 00:02:19,217 --> 00:02:20,994 - Sorry, Charles. - Okay, all right. 63 00:02:21,035 --> 00:02:22,295 Enough debate. We have two nominees. 64 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:24,710 Now, just remember that whoever you vote to accuse... 65 00:02:24,735 --> 00:02:25,935 dies. 66 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:27,975 So, who thinks it was Charles? 67 00:02:28,154 --> 00:02:29,220 Ooh. 68 00:02:29,245 --> 00:02:32,857 Oh, wow. And who votes Liza? 69 00:02:33,679 --> 00:02:36,762 Charles, you are dead. Oh, okay. 70 00:02:36,787 --> 00:02:39,818 So were you a townsperson or a murderer? 71 00:02:39,843 --> 00:02:41,752 [SURPRISED CHATTER] 72 00:02:41,916 --> 00:02:43,429 Townsperson. 73 00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:45,416 The murderer is still at large. 74 00:02:45,673 --> 00:02:48,026 Okay, heads down. Eyes closed. 75 00:02:48,051 --> 00:02:50,715 If you have been killed, you can keep your eyes open. 76 00:02:50,777 --> 00:02:54,084 Murderer awaken, choose your victim. 77 00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:57,334 [PENSIVE MUSIC] 78 00:02:57,845 --> 00:03:02,679 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com - 79 00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:06,238 So no sex for 90 days, like, at all? 80 00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:08,631 I don't know, I just feel like I have to do a full reset. 81 00:03:08,656 --> 00:03:11,562 No sex, no alcohol, maybe no gluten. 82 00:03:11,587 --> 00:03:13,422 I-I don't know, I just feel like there's steps 83 00:03:13,447 --> 00:03:17,071 that you skipped over that are less Amish than this. 84 00:03:17,096 --> 00:03:18,000 - [LAUGHTER] - Amish. 85 00:03:18,023 --> 00:03:19,564 Hey, I'm gonna tie up my dog here while I use the head. 86 00:03:19,589 --> 00:03:21,110 - Is that okay? - [SMACKS LIPS] 87 00:03:21,135 --> 00:03:23,660 Come here, good boy. Come here. 88 00:03:24,003 --> 00:03:25,767 Come here. What's your name? 89 00:03:25,792 --> 00:03:27,129 Oh, hi, Hawkeye. 90 00:03:27,154 --> 00:03:28,894 Soak it up. Those are the last face licks 91 00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:30,792 - you're getting this year. - Shut up. 92 00:03:30,939 --> 00:03:33,191 Hi, where's your dad going, huh? 93 00:03:36,652 --> 00:03:38,394 Ew. Water? 94 00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:39,284 [CHUCKLING] Yeah. 95 00:03:39,309 --> 00:03:41,481 When you left, you were going to get me wine. 96 00:03:41,506 --> 00:03:43,292 When I left, you were upright. 97 00:03:43,335 --> 00:03:44,783 Well... 98 00:03:44,884 --> 00:03:47,088 I'd rather take a nap here than on the train. 99 00:03:47,113 --> 00:03:47,753 You can crash at mine 100 00:03:47,778 --> 00:03:49,801 if you don't wanna go back to Brooklyn. 101 00:03:50,181 --> 00:03:52,808 - What? What? - Mm-hm-hm! 102 00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:54,691 - What? - Nothing. 103 00:03:54,977 --> 00:03:57,419 It's just we haven't really spoken since D.C. 104 00:03:57,444 --> 00:04:00,304 What's there to talk about? I said "crash," not "smash." 105 00:04:00,329 --> 00:04:03,252 - They're synonymous. - That is presumptuous. 106 00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:05,738 I'll think about it. 107 00:04:05,763 --> 00:04:07,439 Well, don't think too long. 108 00:04:07,932 --> 00:04:10,273 I'll think about it for five minutes. 109 00:04:10,298 --> 00:04:12,073 And then I'll meet you there. 110 00:04:12,813 --> 00:04:15,197 Go, go, go, before I change my mind. 111 00:04:15,222 --> 00:04:18,425 [POP MUSIC] 112 00:04:19,889 --> 00:04:21,270 [SIGHS] 113 00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:22,981 - Solid Mafia skills. - [LAUGHS] 114 00:04:23,006 --> 00:04:25,140 But how are you at Celebrity? 115 00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:27,086 I need a date for Tina Brown's next week. 116 00:04:27,111 --> 00:04:29,872 Just don't write down anyone's name who's actually there. 117 00:04:29,897 --> 00:04:32,160 Tobey Maguire ruined that for everybody. 118 00:04:32,185 --> 00:04:34,722 [CHUCKLES] Um, never played. 119 00:04:34,747 --> 00:04:36,204 But, you should ask Diana. 120 00:04:36,229 --> 00:04:38,684 She's, uh... she's great at Celebrity. 121 00:04:38,709 --> 00:04:41,109 Looks like her dance card is full. 122 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,223 So, is it a date? 123 00:04:44,248 --> 00:04:46,828 Uh, I'm not really dating right now. 124 00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:48,300 Long story. 125 00:04:48,325 --> 00:04:50,611 Mm, yep. 126 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:53,770 Last shot. 127 00:04:53,795 --> 00:04:55,740 The "People" Ones to Watch party is tomorrow. 128 00:04:55,765 --> 00:04:57,238 Don't think of it as dating. 129 00:04:57,263 --> 00:04:59,593 It's... plus-one-ing. 130 00:04:59,618 --> 00:05:01,807 Liza. [EXHALES DEEPLY] 131 00:05:01,832 --> 00:05:04,865 Can I see you in... in the powder room, please? 132 00:05:05,288 --> 00:05:08,983 Gotta go. Nice to meet you... Don. 133 00:05:09,716 --> 00:05:11,458 [CHUCKLES] 134 00:05:11,762 --> 00:05:13,965 ? ? 135 00:05:14,051 --> 00:05:17,447 [MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC] 136 00:05:17,558 --> 00:05:21,198 ? ? 137 00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:24,824 [HUMMING NONCHALANTLY] 138 00:05:28,826 --> 00:05:32,350 What? What's going on? Oh! 139 00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:34,557 [GASPS] Oh, my God. 140 00:05:34,582 --> 00:05:36,673 Oh, uh, okay. 141 00:05:36,701 --> 00:05:38,612 Okay, [STAMMERING] I'll get a plumber in here. 142 00:05:38,637 --> 00:05:40,988 You... you just get back to those men you were talking to. 143 00:05:41,013 --> 00:05:42,735 Carder and Aaron left, together. 144 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:44,848 This party, like my marriage, is too gay for its own good. 145 00:05:44,873 --> 00:05:47,846 - I am officially euthanizing it. - No. No, no, no. You can't! 146 00:05:47,871 --> 00:05:49,213 It's still early. 147 00:05:49,302 --> 00:05:51,284 You will realize this when old enough to rent a car, 148 00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:53,164 but one day men won't just fall into your lap. 149 00:05:53,189 --> 00:05:55,491 You have to put in an effort. And it is exhausting. 150 00:05:55,516 --> 00:05:57,385 No, sorry, you are not giving up 151 00:05:57,410 --> 00:06:00,649 when there is a room full of eligible straight men. 152 00:06:00,674 --> 00:06:02,617 Now, go. It's just a clogged toilet. 153 00:06:02,642 --> 00:06:04,644 It happens all the time. 154 00:06:05,285 --> 00:06:06,688 [GASPS] 155 00:06:06,852 --> 00:06:09,306 - Come on, where's your dad? - I checked the kitchen, 156 00:06:09,331 --> 00:06:11,487 the dumpsters, the bathroom. 157 00:06:11,512 --> 00:06:13,563 I didn't see that Murray Hill douchebag anywhere. 158 00:06:13,588 --> 00:06:14,970 And they literally locked the door behind me. 159 00:06:14,995 --> 00:06:16,796 Well, we can't just leave him here. 160 00:06:16,821 --> 00:06:19,001 Hey, you wanna come bunk with me or what? 161 00:06:19,026 --> 00:06:20,540 I just wanna remind you, the last time you picked up 162 00:06:20,565 --> 00:06:22,470 - a stray, you married her. - [SCOFFS] 163 00:06:22,501 --> 00:06:24,038 Thank you for reminding me. 164 00:06:24,063 --> 00:06:25,563 - I really appreciate that. - [LAUGHS] 165 00:06:25,587 --> 00:06:27,079 - [CHUCKLING] God. - He's cute. 166 00:06:27,104 --> 00:06:28,032 Guys, come on, come on, come on. 167 00:06:28,056 --> 00:06:29,500 - Hey, come on. - Come on. 168 00:06:29,915 --> 00:06:31,918 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 169 00:06:34,121 --> 00:06:35,943 [EXHALES DEEPLY] It's about time. 170 00:06:35,968 --> 00:06:38,251 I've been waiting forever for... 171 00:06:38,849 --> 00:06:41,731 Enzo. Hello, uh... 172 00:06:41,756 --> 00:06:43,085 Hey. 173 00:06:43,948 --> 00:06:46,018 Bathroom still in the same place? 174 00:06:46,043 --> 00:06:47,997 Ye... yeah. 175 00:06:48,022 --> 00:06:50,184 [GENTLE GUITAR MUSIC] 176 00:06:51,086 --> 00:06:55,470 ? ? 177 00:06:57,983 --> 00:06:59,702 Okay. 178 00:07:05,257 --> 00:07:07,260 Oh, God. 179 00:07:08,101 --> 00:07:10,483 It's an easy fix. 15, 20 minutes tops. 180 00:07:10,508 --> 00:07:12,370 Yeah, well, no rush. 181 00:07:12,395 --> 00:07:15,082 Can I get you a drink? I just had a party. 182 00:07:15,380 --> 00:07:17,937 Yeah, your, uh, toilet told me. 183 00:07:18,218 --> 00:07:19,997 I'm good. 184 00:07:22,315 --> 00:07:25,767 So, um, how... how have you been? 185 00:07:25,968 --> 00:07:28,236 [CHUCKLES] You don't have to do that. 186 00:07:28,261 --> 00:07:30,473 You disappeared over a year ago. 187 00:07:30,498 --> 00:07:33,046 - I got the hint. - I didn't, I... okay. 188 00:07:33,071 --> 00:07:35,057 I did. I'm sorry. Um... 189 00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,044 Sorry. 190 00:07:37,121 --> 00:07:39,210 I assumed you had plenty of... 191 00:07:39,553 --> 00:07:41,401 Plenty of what? 192 00:07:42,467 --> 00:07:43,911 - I don't usually... - Oh, I know. 193 00:07:43,936 --> 00:07:46,606 We both said that many times, very convincingly. 194 00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:48,398 I meant it. 195 00:07:49,124 --> 00:07:50,868 You know, I was gonna ask you out, 196 00:07:50,893 --> 00:07:52,756 but you stopped answering, so... 197 00:07:53,212 --> 00:07:55,175 Well, I was seeing someone. 198 00:07:55,783 --> 00:07:57,470 Ah. 199 00:07:57,495 --> 00:07:59,698 But now I'm not, so... 200 00:08:00,721 --> 00:08:02,444 I guess you're out of excuses. 201 00:08:02,469 --> 00:08:03,978 [CHUCKLES] 202 00:08:04,003 --> 00:08:05,886 I guess I am. 203 00:08:07,942 --> 00:08:09,851 How's dinner Thursday? 204 00:08:11,710 --> 00:08:13,605 Okay. 205 00:08:14,118 --> 00:08:15,792 I'll pick you up. 206 00:08:16,215 --> 00:08:18,659 ? ? 207 00:08:19,156 --> 00:08:21,986 - [UPBEAT MUSIC] - ? Yeah, aye ? 208 00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:25,032 - ? Shoot ? - ? Yeah, aye ? 209 00:08:25,057 --> 00:08:27,312 Okay, you have a budget meeting at 2:00, 210 00:08:27,337 --> 00:08:29,685 followed by the YA presentation with publicity at 3:30. 211 00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:31,733 And then that call with the Whitney board right after. 212 00:08:31,758 --> 00:08:32,917 - You got all that? - Not a word. 213 00:08:32,942 --> 00:08:34,915 That's why I have you. And who is this for? 214 00:08:34,940 --> 00:08:36,568 Liza Miller. 215 00:08:36,593 --> 00:08:39,441 Gotta be kidding me. 216 00:08:39,726 --> 00:08:42,068 - Don Ridley? [SCOFFS] - _ 217 00:08:42,093 --> 00:08:43,210 I throw a party to meet men. 218 00:08:43,235 --> 00:08:45,704 You get a date out of it. [SNICKERS] 219 00:08:45,729 --> 00:08:46,980 Everything okay over here? 220 00:08:47,005 --> 00:08:49,131 Oh, a man just fell into Liza's lap. 221 00:08:49,156 --> 00:08:51,123 She's going to the "People" Ones to Watch party. 222 00:08:51,148 --> 00:08:53,126 - Typical. - When has this ever happened? 223 00:08:53,151 --> 00:08:54,690 It is typical that men in their forties 224 00:08:54,715 --> 00:08:56,699 just want women in their twenties, right? 225 00:08:57,723 --> 00:08:59,404 Diana, I'm not going. 226 00:08:59,429 --> 00:09:01,972 Do I need to pedal you there myself in a pedicab? 227 00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:07,110 You should go. It's a fun party. 228 00:09:07,896 --> 00:09:09,930 Uh, bring Tupperware. 229 00:09:10,576 --> 00:09:12,361 Uh, what's that supposed to mean? 230 00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:14,289 Oh, at Diana's, 231 00:09:14,314 --> 00:09:15,872 when he thought that nobody was looking, 232 00:09:15,897 --> 00:09:18,900 I saw Don stuff a pork chop into his pocket. 233 00:09:18,925 --> 00:09:20,280 What? 234 00:09:20,305 --> 00:09:22,839 Yeah. A pork chop. 235 00:09:23,782 --> 00:09:25,764 Pocket. 236 00:09:26,245 --> 00:09:27,970 Have fun. 237 00:09:29,022 --> 00:09:31,357 [UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC] 238 00:09:32,670 --> 00:09:35,417 ? ? 239 00:09:36,418 --> 00:09:39,793 [UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC] 240 00:09:39,971 --> 00:09:42,555 ? ? 241 00:09:42,885 --> 00:09:44,783 - Okay, uh... - Oh. 242 00:09:44,808 --> 00:09:46,445 Since I have interviewed half of these people here, 243 00:09:46,470 --> 00:09:49,959 you can pick one celeb for me to introduce you to. 244 00:09:49,984 --> 00:09:51,616 If it's Martha Stewart, we should do it now 245 00:09:51,641 --> 00:09:53,343 before they bring out the Jaeger luge. 246 00:09:53,368 --> 00:09:55,383 Why don't you introduce me to you? 247 00:09:55,408 --> 00:09:57,050 All I know about you is your writing. 248 00:09:57,075 --> 00:09:58,862 And that you were born in Pittsburgh. 249 00:09:58,887 --> 00:10:01,642 You googled me. Feels like a date move. 250 00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:03,584 [CHUCKLES] Well, as your plus-one, 251 00:10:03,609 --> 00:10:05,450 I did brush up on your work. 252 00:10:05,790 --> 00:10:08,162 Your piece on Rwanda in "The Atlantic" 253 00:10:08,187 --> 00:10:10,054 was even better the second time. 254 00:10:10,079 --> 00:10:13,279 Wow. Usually my dates just skim my interview 255 00:10:13,304 --> 00:10:15,366 with Jen Aniston and pivot to Brangelina 256 00:10:15,391 --> 00:10:16,793 the rest of the night. 257 00:10:17,189 --> 00:10:18,959 Good thing I'm not one of your dates. 258 00:10:18,984 --> 00:10:21,554 Yeah. Good thing. 259 00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:24,557 - Walk this way. - [LAUGHS] 260 00:10:27,256 --> 00:10:30,760 You really don't like that train ride to Brooklyn, do you? 261 00:10:32,921 --> 00:10:35,570 You were wearing a different shirt earlier. 262 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:38,831 I, uh, spilled something. 263 00:10:38,856 --> 00:10:40,718 You don't spill. 264 00:10:40,743 --> 00:10:42,490 - Yeah. - [GASPS] 265 00:10:42,515 --> 00:10:44,097 Do you have a date? 266 00:10:44,122 --> 00:10:47,897 I have drinks with a junior editor at Knopf. 267 00:10:47,922 --> 00:10:49,351 Synonymous. 268 00:10:49,376 --> 00:10:50,896 Presumptuous. 269 00:10:51,327 --> 00:10:53,279 [CHUCKLES] It's none of my business. 270 00:10:53,304 --> 00:10:55,093 I'm just gonna keep reading my book. 271 00:10:55,118 --> 00:10:57,928 Mm, weren't you, uh, reading the other one? 272 00:10:58,411 --> 00:11:00,433 I like to read a few at a time. 273 00:11:00,548 --> 00:11:02,256 I assume that's okay with you? 274 00:11:02,281 --> 00:11:03,562 Eh. 275 00:11:03,587 --> 00:11:05,259 None of my business. 276 00:11:09,267 --> 00:11:10,969 It'd be a lot easier to impress you 277 00:11:10,994 --> 00:11:13,728 with my celebrity friends if you knew who half of them were. 278 00:11:13,753 --> 00:11:16,454 [SCOFFS] All right, who's that? 279 00:11:16,479 --> 00:11:18,631 He's trying to buy an entire floor of Trump Tower 280 00:11:18,656 --> 00:11:21,958 to house a super PAC to elect Michelle Obama to Congress. 281 00:11:21,983 --> 00:11:24,223 - What? - It's purely out of spite. 282 00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:26,263 But he's got funding from Rosie O'Donnell. 283 00:11:26,288 --> 00:11:27,880 When's this article coming out? 284 00:11:27,905 --> 00:11:30,485 I could write a thousand pages on that guy. He's nuts. 285 00:11:30,510 --> 00:11:32,346 Well, when you have a book idea, 286 00:11:32,371 --> 00:11:34,159 you know where to bring it. 287 00:11:34,184 --> 00:11:35,928 How about tomorrow? 288 00:11:36,665 --> 00:11:38,444 Seriously. I'll pitch it tomorrow. 289 00:11:38,469 --> 00:11:41,236 And it's not just about him. It's all of elite Manhattan. 290 00:11:41,261 --> 00:11:43,204 It's crazier than you can imagine. 291 00:11:43,229 --> 00:11:44,731 Okay. 292 00:11:44,959 --> 00:11:46,870 Come pitch it tomorrow. 293 00:11:47,496 --> 00:11:50,578 - 4:00 okay? - 4:00 is great. 294 00:11:50,738 --> 00:11:52,642 [UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC] 295 00:11:52,927 --> 00:11:55,991 Ooh, sushi. Follow me. 296 00:11:56,622 --> 00:12:00,747 ? ? 297 00:12:03,012 --> 00:12:05,966 I just... I can't believe somebody can be this shitty. 298 00:12:05,991 --> 00:12:07,747 Now, who would do this to a dog? 299 00:12:07,772 --> 00:12:08,919 - Look at him. - I know, I know. 300 00:12:08,944 --> 00:12:10,763 He is an actual angel, but 301 00:12:10,788 --> 00:12:12,310 you know we can't have pets in the building. 302 00:12:12,335 --> 00:12:14,709 Yeah, well, we can't have three roommates either. 303 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,460 We just won't tell the landlord now, will we? 304 00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:17,601 Rude. Okay, but thank you. 305 00:12:17,626 --> 00:12:19,921 Hawkeye. Oh, my God. 306 00:12:19,946 --> 00:12:21,611 Where did you find him? 307 00:12:21,636 --> 00:12:23,373 Uh, some dude just left him tied up 308 00:12:23,398 --> 00:12:24,593 outside of a restaurant. 309 00:12:24,618 --> 00:12:27,448 Ugh, my ex. Such a prick. 310 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:29,998 Here. 311 00:12:30,233 --> 00:12:32,077 Hey, bye, little dude. 312 00:12:32,102 --> 00:12:33,102 I'm gonna miss you. 313 00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:36,163 You love the hot stranger, don't you? 314 00:12:37,928 --> 00:12:39,568 Don't you? 315 00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:41,528 I got him some toys too, 316 00:12:42,202 --> 00:12:43,811 if you wanna go grab them. 317 00:12:43,836 --> 00:12:45,554 They're, uh, back at my apartment. 318 00:12:46,532 --> 00:12:48,133 It's actually, um... it's our apartment. 319 00:12:48,158 --> 00:12:50,360 We live there together. But... ah... okay, no, no. 320 00:12:50,385 --> 00:12:52,437 Sorry... no, never mind. Yeah. 321 00:12:52,883 --> 00:12:55,156 [UPBEAT MUSIC BUILDING] 322 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,148 - ? Go ? - [PANTING] 323 00:13:00,172 --> 00:13:02,617 [MOANING] 324 00:13:06,398 --> 00:13:07,553 [BARKS] 325 00:13:07,586 --> 00:13:09,631 - Hawkeye. - Hawkeye, no. 326 00:13:11,938 --> 00:13:14,623 Shut up. You know Pippa Middleton? 327 00:13:14,648 --> 00:13:16,338 One flight, five hours, 328 00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:18,155 several mini bottles of tequila. 329 00:13:18,180 --> 00:13:20,591 She told me her sister was dating somebody famous. 330 00:13:20,616 --> 00:13:21,957 I wrote it down. 331 00:13:21,982 --> 00:13:24,620 Wait, wait, you broke the Will and Kate story? 332 00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:27,436 Don. Charles Brooks. 333 00:13:27,461 --> 00:13:29,484 Uh. 334 00:13:29,745 --> 00:13:31,932 - Cufflinks. - [CHUCKLES] 335 00:13:31,957 --> 00:13:34,296 I heard you have quite a book idea. 336 00:13:35,013 --> 00:13:37,246 - Uh... - Please. 337 00:13:37,271 --> 00:13:39,410 [PLAYFUL MUSIC] 338 00:13:39,435 --> 00:13:41,740 Um, okay, let's dive in. 339 00:13:41,765 --> 00:13:44,365 Um, this book is about 340 00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:48,469 all the dirty, sexy messes of Manhattan society... 341 00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:51,674 ambassadors, bankers, not the boring ones. 342 00:13:51,699 --> 00:13:53,321 Disgraced, famous. 343 00:13:53,346 --> 00:13:54,934 Um, Madoffs... 344 00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:57,658 So is this a novel or is it nonfiction? 345 00:13:58,933 --> 00:14:01,403 I was thinking the latter. 346 00:14:01,829 --> 00:14:03,171 Huh. 347 00:14:03,196 --> 00:14:05,178 Well, that could be problematic. 348 00:14:05,564 --> 00:14:08,107 Uh, can we at least hear the idea? 349 00:14:08,132 --> 00:14:11,760 Yeah, these are very litigious, very wealthy people. 350 00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:14,382 But, uh, continue. Sorry. 351 00:14:14,579 --> 00:14:17,405 Oh, I was thinking about framing the story 352 00:14:17,430 --> 00:14:20,309 around drama at the Trump Tower. 353 00:14:20,334 --> 00:14:22,375 It's a bloodbath, but also a microcosm 354 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:24,758 of what's going on in the rest of America. 355 00:14:24,783 --> 00:14:27,859 That sounds like a completely different book. 356 00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:32,636 And readers are starting to tire of polemics. 357 00:14:32,671 --> 00:14:34,208 ? ? 358 00:14:34,233 --> 00:14:36,823 Okay, uh, how's this? 359 00:14:36,848 --> 00:14:41,374 Uh, the Monica Lewinsky scandal is 20 this year. 360 00:14:41,399 --> 00:14:43,338 Uh, our first victim of cyber-bullying 361 00:14:43,363 --> 00:14:44,905 before we even knew what to call it. 362 00:14:45,114 --> 00:14:46,485 She's a friend. 363 00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:48,850 The '90s are hot again. OJ, Tonya Harding... 364 00:14:48,875 --> 00:14:51,579 Right, the... the '90s are also when most of 365 00:14:51,604 --> 00:14:53,815 Millennial's readers were born. 366 00:14:54,771 --> 00:14:57,223 Uh, I have to jump on a conference call, 367 00:14:57,248 --> 00:14:59,973 but, uh, it has been a pleasure. 368 00:15:00,582 --> 00:15:03,616 ? ? 369 00:15:04,346 --> 00:15:05,879 Ugh. 370 00:15:05,904 --> 00:15:08,267 Don, can you give us a minute? 371 00:15:09,424 --> 00:15:10,885 [SIGHS] 372 00:15:11,688 --> 00:15:13,730 Uh, bathroom? 373 00:15:18,161 --> 00:15:19,823 What is wrong with Charles? 374 00:15:19,848 --> 00:15:21,190 He knows. 375 00:15:21,215 --> 00:15:23,840 - Knows what? - About me. 376 00:15:23,865 --> 00:15:25,535 All of it. 377 00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:28,744 [EXHALES DEEPLY] God, Liza. How? 378 00:15:28,769 --> 00:15:31,989 - I don't know. - So he didn't fire you? 379 00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:34,028 Not yet. 380 00:15:34,951 --> 00:15:36,734 [EXHALES DEEPLY] 381 00:15:36,759 --> 00:15:38,417 So, what, he's just gonna punish you 382 00:15:38,442 --> 00:15:41,046 and just tank every author you bring in here? 383 00:15:42,681 --> 00:15:44,843 This is such a mess. 384 00:15:45,199 --> 00:15:47,182 How are we supposed to do our job? 385 00:15:47,207 --> 00:15:49,568 [PENSIVE MUSIC] 386 00:15:50,041 --> 00:15:51,703 I'll handle it. 387 00:15:52,564 --> 00:15:54,339 [SIGHS] 388 00:16:00,157 --> 00:16:01,819 You got a minute? 389 00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:05,144 - Uh, a little busy right now. - I'll be quick. 390 00:16:05,447 --> 00:16:07,187 I'm resigning. 391 00:16:08,848 --> 00:16:10,850 Close the door, please. 392 00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,975 [SNIFFLES] 393 00:16:15,937 --> 00:16:17,479 What are you doing? 394 00:16:17,579 --> 00:16:19,481 This isn't going to work. You're angry with me. 395 00:16:19,506 --> 00:16:21,867 And you're not gonna like any writer I bring in here. 396 00:16:21,892 --> 00:16:23,213 That's going to hobble Millennial 397 00:16:23,238 --> 00:16:24,904 and probably ruin Kelsey's career too. 398 00:16:24,929 --> 00:16:27,632 And that's not fair to anyone, so I'm bowing out. 399 00:16:29,293 --> 00:16:31,506 The only thing threatening Millennial 400 00:16:31,792 --> 00:16:34,272 is the lie you've been telling since you got here. 401 00:16:34,297 --> 00:16:36,920 You can be mad at me. I deserve that. 402 00:16:37,058 --> 00:16:39,947 But you can't take it out on a writer I bring in here. 403 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:42,876 - That's not what I did. - So that wasn't personal? 404 00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:47,104 No, uh, personal would be asking if... 405 00:16:47,129 --> 00:16:50,296 if Don dropped a trail of breadcrumbs from his pocket 406 00:16:50,321 --> 00:16:52,266 in case you got separated at the "People" party, 407 00:16:52,291 --> 00:16:56,290 but passing on a half-baked, poorly-conceived book idea 408 00:16:56,315 --> 00:16:58,883 I didn't like, that's... that's business. 409 00:17:00,104 --> 00:17:02,567 And I trust you can see the distinction. 410 00:17:03,034 --> 00:17:05,494 - I do. - Excellent. 411 00:17:05,761 --> 00:17:07,604 Please close the door on your way out. 412 00:17:07,629 --> 00:17:10,884 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 413 00:17:10,909 --> 00:17:12,912 [DOOR SLAMS] 414 00:17:14,266 --> 00:17:16,246 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 415 00:17:16,271 --> 00:17:17,681 ? ? 416 00:17:17,713 --> 00:17:19,908 [DOOR BUZZES] 417 00:17:20,189 --> 00:17:22,359 - Hi. - Hey. Where's the dog? 418 00:17:22,697 --> 00:17:24,630 I gave him back to his owner, 419 00:17:24,932 --> 00:17:26,465 after I slept with her. 420 00:17:26,490 --> 00:17:30,400 Yes. You broke your fast. Let me get you a drink. 421 00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:32,314 - Oh, Mags, I... - No, no, no, no, no, come on. 422 00:17:32,339 --> 00:17:34,431 90 days without booze or sex? 423 00:17:34,456 --> 00:17:36,591 I haven't done that since grade school. 424 00:17:37,072 --> 00:17:39,736 You don't need to reset your system. 425 00:17:39,761 --> 00:17:41,619 You just need to have a good glass of red wine, 426 00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:43,671 and someone to complain about girls to. 427 00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:45,728 Fine, but no gluten. 428 00:17:45,753 --> 00:17:47,654 Turns out I really do have that allergy. 429 00:17:47,679 --> 00:17:48,940 That is not real. 430 00:17:48,965 --> 00:17:50,689 And I just smoked a big joint 431 00:17:50,714 --> 00:17:52,892 and ate all the bread in the house, so you're good. 432 00:17:52,917 --> 00:17:54,447 [LAUGHS] 433 00:17:54,472 --> 00:17:56,260 God, you make everything better. 434 00:17:57,103 --> 00:17:58,556 [LIGHT JAZZ MUSIC] 435 00:17:58,581 --> 00:17:59,744 ? ? 436 00:18:02,321 --> 00:18:04,452 It's 6:00. I don't see him. 437 00:18:04,477 --> 00:18:06,095 - Well, good night. - Oh, no, no, no. 438 00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:09,344 You are going on this date. A man fell on your lap. 439 00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:11,541 Do you always use people's words against them 440 00:18:11,566 --> 00:18:13,849 - like a drunk toddler? - [HORN HONKS] 441 00:18:16,641 --> 00:18:18,793 Oh, my God, I'm going on a date with my plumber. 442 00:18:18,818 --> 00:18:20,541 Phew. 443 00:18:20,832 --> 00:18:22,375 Sorry for honking. 444 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:23,905 I'm driving around for a half hour 445 00:18:23,930 --> 00:18:25,681 and the only spot I could find is illegal. 446 00:18:25,706 --> 00:18:27,874 When you said that you were picking me up, 447 00:18:27,899 --> 00:18:31,106 I... I... I thought you meant on foot. [LAUGHS] 448 00:18:31,131 --> 00:18:33,407 There's no good Italian food up here. 449 00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:35,291 In Midtown? 450 00:18:35,316 --> 00:18:37,612 In Manhattan. Come on. 451 00:18:37,637 --> 00:18:40,366 [UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC] 452 00:18:40,778 --> 00:18:47,466 ? ? 453 00:18:52,307 --> 00:18:54,193 [CHUCKLES] 454 00:18:58,859 --> 00:19:00,862 Does Diana know? 455 00:19:03,519 --> 00:19:05,101 Anyone else? 456 00:19:05,201 --> 00:19:08,906 Just Kelsey. She was upset at first, but... 457 00:19:08,990 --> 00:19:11,293 So you've both been lying to me? 458 00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:13,220 We thought it was best for the company. 459 00:19:13,245 --> 00:19:15,897 We didn't want anyone else at Empirical to have to lie too. 460 00:19:15,964 --> 00:19:20,016 Ah, how thoughtful of you to spare us all that indignity. 461 00:19:21,349 --> 00:19:23,136 I'm gonna go. 462 00:19:23,592 --> 00:19:25,294 Have a good night. 463 00:19:25,319 --> 00:19:27,792 Liza, wait. J... please. 464 00:19:27,817 --> 00:19:31,901 [SIGHS] I should apologize for crashing your meeting. 465 00:19:31,926 --> 00:19:36,306 Uh, I... I am trying to find my way around all this, 466 00:19:36,331 --> 00:19:39,421 and I, uh... I took it out on Don. 467 00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:42,145 And that wasn't fair. 468 00:19:42,170 --> 00:19:43,831 You're good at your job. 469 00:19:44,370 --> 00:19:48,007 Millennial needs you to survive right now. 470 00:19:48,557 --> 00:19:51,060 And I... I don't wanna jeopardize that. 471 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:54,064 [SOLEMN SYNTH-POP MUSIC] 472 00:19:54,164 --> 00:19:55,866 And that's all I wanted to say. 473 00:19:55,966 --> 00:19:57,308 Good night. 474 00:19:57,408 --> 00:19:59,723 Please, just let me explain. 475 00:20:00,372 --> 00:20:02,155 Maybe if you get to know me. 476 00:20:02,524 --> 00:20:04,722 The real me. 477 00:20:04,747 --> 00:20:06,906 I... I don't think that's a good idea. 478 00:20:07,197 --> 00:20:09,403 I'm so sorry that I lied to you. 479 00:20:10,439 --> 00:20:12,796 I just... I care about you so much. 480 00:20:12,821 --> 00:20:14,511 I... I need you to know that. 481 00:20:14,536 --> 00:20:17,656 And I need you to forget about it. 482 00:20:18,404 --> 00:20:22,529 ? ? 483 00:20:26,835 --> 00:20:29,538 [TRADITIONAL ITALIAN MUSIC] 484 00:20:29,638 --> 00:20:32,542 ? ? 485 00:20:32,642 --> 00:20:35,498 This restaurant is lovely. 486 00:20:35,584 --> 00:20:37,126 Try to sound less surprised. 487 00:20:37,151 --> 00:20:39,962 - I'm sorry, it's just... - Staten Island. 488 00:20:40,169 --> 00:20:43,105 We've got nice places too. You just never tried 'em. 489 00:20:44,404 --> 00:20:47,081 Amy, we didn't order that. 490 00:20:49,091 --> 00:20:51,709 Compliments of Mr. De Rosa. 491 00:20:53,365 --> 00:20:56,932 ? ? 492 00:20:57,125 --> 00:20:58,658 - What? - No, nothing. 493 00:20:58,683 --> 00:21:01,153 Just the other night at my party we played Mafia. 494 00:21:01,178 --> 00:21:02,836 And now... 495 00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:04,437 Okay, two things. 496 00:21:04,462 --> 00:21:07,133 One, don't say that out loud again. 497 00:21:07,158 --> 00:21:11,531 And two, Mr. D is on the City Council. 498 00:21:11,556 --> 00:21:13,259 [CHUCKLES] 499 00:21:13,284 --> 00:21:15,699 But, I mean, you... you did something for him? 500 00:21:15,724 --> 00:21:18,093 Yeah, I put new copper pipes in his summer house. 501 00:21:18,118 --> 00:21:20,925 Turned it around quick so he could throw a campaign event. 502 00:21:21,332 --> 00:21:23,589 ? ? 503 00:21:23,675 --> 00:21:26,129 Exquisite. Who sent this over? 504 00:21:26,154 --> 00:21:27,517 I did. 505 00:21:27,542 --> 00:21:28,674 I can't let you buy that for me. 506 00:21:28,699 --> 00:21:31,077 That is a $500 bottle. 507 00:21:31,223 --> 00:21:33,484 I know. I'm trying to impress you. 508 00:21:33,645 --> 00:21:35,827 [ROMANTIC MUSIC] 509 00:21:35,852 --> 00:21:37,244 First date. Don't get used to it. 510 00:21:37,269 --> 00:21:39,463 [CHUCKLES] 511 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,083 ? ? 512 00:21:44,437 --> 00:21:46,019 We should've ordered second entr�es. 513 00:21:46,044 --> 00:21:47,818 Maxed out the Empirical expense account. 514 00:21:47,843 --> 00:21:50,483 What expense account? Those things are relics. 515 00:21:52,303 --> 00:21:55,090 - Oh, thank you. - Didn't go through. 516 00:21:55,115 --> 00:21:57,131 Would you like to try another card? 517 00:21:57,193 --> 00:21:59,356 Uh, okay. 518 00:22:01,164 --> 00:22:03,984 Uh... Just... 519 00:22:04,009 --> 00:22:06,082 - Can you give us a minute? - Yeah. 520 00:22:06,107 --> 00:22:07,803 Thank you. 521 00:22:08,031 --> 00:22:10,037 Shit. 522 00:22:10,062 --> 00:22:12,559 This is embarrassing. I guess I'm a relic too. 523 00:22:12,584 --> 00:22:15,915 What're you talking about? You write for "Vanity Fair." 524 00:22:15,940 --> 00:22:18,244 - And "Vogue." - Wrote. 525 00:22:18,370 --> 00:22:19,912 Past tense. 526 00:22:19,965 --> 00:22:22,191 Magazines are dying even faster than books. 527 00:22:22,487 --> 00:22:25,320 This is what I write now. 528 00:22:26,207 --> 00:22:29,273 "You won't believe which of these sexy stars is trans." 529 00:22:29,298 --> 00:22:30,900 - Is he? - Nope. 530 00:22:30,925 --> 00:22:32,369 But you have to click through 19 photos 531 00:22:32,394 --> 00:22:34,512 and 6 ads to find that out. 532 00:22:34,537 --> 00:22:37,400 I'm barely pulling in what I made in my twenties. 533 00:22:37,794 --> 00:22:40,089 But you're out at A-list parties every night. 534 00:22:40,114 --> 00:22:42,228 Free food. Open bar. 535 00:22:42,253 --> 00:22:44,589 - Gift bags. - Yes. [LAUGHS] 536 00:22:44,614 --> 00:22:47,783 [CHUCKLES] Oh, God. Ohh... 537 00:22:47,808 --> 00:22:50,572 Well, look, none of us is exactly who we say we are. 538 00:22:52,036 --> 00:22:53,938 I've been there. I'll get dinner. 539 00:22:53,963 --> 00:22:56,981 No, I can't. It is too pathetic. 540 00:22:57,006 --> 00:22:58,549 - There's a 20. - Hey. 541 00:22:58,574 --> 00:23:01,369 Uh, this gift card has $14. 542 00:23:01,394 --> 00:23:04,403 - And for the tip. - [CHUCKLES] 543 00:23:04,428 --> 00:23:05,873 - Solid hustle. - Yeah. 544 00:23:05,898 --> 00:23:07,587 Could we go, before she realizes that her tip 545 00:23:07,612 --> 00:23:09,432 - is only half a latte? - What? 546 00:23:09,457 --> 00:23:11,564 No, I'm serious. I feel bad. 547 00:23:11,589 --> 00:23:14,570 - [LAUGHING] Okay. - Phone, wallet, purse, go. 548 00:23:14,595 --> 00:23:16,185 Casual, casual, nothing's wrong. 549 00:23:16,210 --> 00:23:18,309 - Everything's wrong. Go. - Okay, ah! 550 00:23:18,334 --> 00:23:20,649 She's coming. She does not look happy. 551 00:23:20,674 --> 00:23:21,920 [LAUGHS] 552 00:23:21,945 --> 00:23:24,558 Sorry. Thank you. 553 00:23:24,583 --> 00:23:25,882 Oh, God. 554 00:23:26,498 --> 00:23:28,432 [LAUGHING] 555 00:23:29,070 --> 00:23:32,395 Okay, well, we can't end the night like that. 556 00:23:32,420 --> 00:23:35,604 Let's see. Uh... oh. 557 00:23:35,858 --> 00:23:37,724 There's a Cinema Society premiere. 558 00:23:37,749 --> 00:23:40,749 I am, uh, on Andrew Saffir's list. 559 00:23:40,774 --> 00:23:43,365 - What movie? - Uh, it doesn't matter. 560 00:23:43,390 --> 00:23:46,168 The alcohol's top shelf and the food's great. 561 00:23:46,626 --> 00:23:48,166 Are you in? 562 00:23:49,273 --> 00:23:50,875 I'm in. 563 00:23:50,900 --> 00:23:53,280 [BLEACHERS' "EVERYBODY LOST SOMEBODY" PLAYING] 564 00:23:53,313 --> 00:23:55,242 ? ? 565 00:23:55,993 --> 00:23:59,813 ? Everybody lost somebody ? 566 00:23:59,863 --> 00:24:04,413 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0